Piss off you bully!

The other day I dropped the mat down on a yin class taught by Nancy Curran. If you ever have a chance to take either her class or Don's please don't hesitate. These two instructors are innately connected to healing the heart chalkra. It only takes one class to understand and begin to feel recuperation and repair of the third chalkra. It's powerful and humbling. When I take their classes I relearn how to allow joy in my body and I find the courage to confront whats blocking my ability to feel bliss, comfort and and mental ease.

As we made our way through the class I am working on releasing areas of tension and letting go. I have a great bulk of tight stress throughout my body, so I'm pretty busy scanning, breathing and releasing. I'm rather deep in, when my mind steps in with mental list of what I need to do today, tomorrow and through the weekend.

I confront my list making mind: "What are you doing here? You need to clear out!"
The mind's reply;" If you don't review what you need to do you will never remember it all. What you should do is repeat the list two or three times and then when you finish class go home immediately and write it down on your to do list."
Me: "You need to get out... now."
My mind: " You need to get organized."
Me: "Jeesh! you are relentless, what I need is a rest from you."
My mind: " You need to prioritize what you need to do. I don't think you will be able to finish everything by Monday morning."
Me: " I'm not looking to finish everything, I'm looking to have a goddamn vacation and I want you to shut the fuck up!"
small silence.....
My mind: "wow! did you believe that email?! be supportive write back. maybe you should discuss this with someone. I mean really the nerve and insensitivity of someone to say these kinds of things to your mother during such time of emotional trauma and change. Oh, almost forgot! don't forget you need a manicure."
Me: "PISS OFF!"

And so it went for an hour and twenty minutes of an hour and a half class. I got about 2 minutes at the start of class and about eight minutes at the end because I finally just passed out from fatigue. Mind you, this is Yin, a passive, peaceful class where people lay down with blankets in relaxing poses.

There's some work to do here, no doubt about it.
Hoping your joy and bliss are coming easier,
peace and harmony everyone,
Miss.S.

Summer Jazz

Sizzling hot day, blue sky, slight wind, dry and hot, with goodness all around the rim. Content dogs and humans, buzzed happy on Summer sun and feeling loved and well. Nothing like a little Anita O'Day to make it a completely perfect afternoon. This is clip from the Newport Folk Festival 1964, nobody does Sweet Georgia Brown this good. She really was a genius. There's an interesting back story to the whole clip and the people in it. The women lived a fast life, embraced her art, made no excuses and kept it in full throttle till the end. (As a little side note and a clue to her complex personality, she'd been riding the white horse all day before getting on stage.) I think in this case it doesn't really matter what she choose to do her genius was going to always shine through 100% every time. I think she'd had many lifetimes of doing this and it was old hat, old fabulous hat! Enjoy the clip.

Happy Birthday!

The New Colossus
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
Emma Lazarus (1883)

End of an era

This is my mat, Mr. Cushy, actually its the bottom mat. The top mat is dark green with a drawing of bamboo's on it that my best friend gave me for my birthday one year. For a long time my cushy mint green mat was my main mat until it started to become slightly grubby, that's when it became a cushion. This was years ago, before I became a yoga teacher. My mat and I have had some powerful experiences and we've created many lasting memories. We went through yoga teacher training, traveled to several countries and had some pretty strong experiences which have included (on more than one occasion) me in a puddle of tears clutching the sides for comfort. I have rarely been without Mr. Cushy. He sits in the back of the car and I never leave home without him. The only big yoga occasion we did not have together was when I did teacher training in India. I thought he might be destroyed and have to be thrown away. Instead, I bought an orange cushy mat which I gave to a most excellent colleague when I left India. The orange mat was OK, but there was no comparison. I was happy to be back on my mint green mat again. Well..... truth be told Mr. Cushy's best days are behind him. He is perennially dirty, kind of stinky, probably a little moldy too. I know its time for that sad walk to the recycle bin, but it's hard to say goodbye. I remember finding this little gem at T.J. Maxx. This was the thickest mat I had ever found (still is to this day) and I couldn't believe my luck. Really! No one wants a generic, slightly ugly, mint green mat, Wow! I immediately clasped my arms around the box and that was it, kind of a love at first sight story. I have looked for other mats but they just don't feel right to me. Now it's just time to say goodbye, well not today exactly but really soon, which to be honest kind of hurts a little. I could talk about none attachment and mat etiquette which would include sage advice about why you should never step on any on another person's mat... but I won't, its not about that. Its about a a proper send off for a great little mat that served me superbly. Friday is recycle day and soon we'll part so I'll just say goodbye Mr. Cushy and thank you, you've been fantastic.

Back on the Mat

Aahh, Summer has arrived! I left work feeling a bit like a limp noodle, I managed to get to the couch and that was all she wrote! Having recovered a bit I am now planning my Summer schedule which includes a lot of yoga. I got a fantastic jump start at chantfeast which placed me back on the mat and wanting more. I rolled into chantfeast plopped down and and just stayed class after class. By the time I left I'd dropped a couple of toxic bricks and just floated on pure energy out the door.

One of the classes I took was a kundalini class. I have a DVD at home but have never actually taken a class. Somewhere between the gongs, chanting and breath work I got hooked. I got back and immediately took a class. Yep, I'm in! I found a studio and I'm hoping to explore a bit more. If all works out ( parking gods are you listening?) I'll bounce between my regular studio and this one. I've been getting back to a daily practice and I can't even begin to state the difference in my mood and general vitality. With my Dad's passing it's been a long and emotional journey and I seemed to have stored all my feelings in my hips. With each class I feel a release, sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes with a great whoosh, but always a feeling of having dropped something I didn't need to carry. I had a class in the late spring which opened up my hips with a great thunder, with it came the tears and a great relief as well. So here's to the summer, rediscovering my practice and beginning life again!
Hari Om and be well.

First Day Bliss

Summer afternoon

Summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.

Henry James

Dreaming of Summer

This is pretty much me by days end. I am sound asleep long before I hit the pillow. I'm nearing the end of all the things I need to do, but boy is this a tough one. Actually today is a big day and again next week is a big week for meeting deadlines. I have been able to make my obligations on time, perhaps not so much by organization but the sheer desire to have all this done and move on.... on to something less hectic and draining. Well perhaps... going through the summer itinerary it's pretty full already, but that's OK, it's a welcome release from this crazy hectic schedule. Tomorrow I'm taking a little break for part of the day and I'm going to Chantfest. A little yoga and chant inspiration to invigorate the soul and mind. I'm ready, bring on the Summer!

Summer makes a silence after spring.
Vita Sackville-West