Days to Come

It been a looooong year with lots of turmoil and big learning curves at every turn. Plans have been made only to evaporate at the last minute, bringing me back to figure it out, starting from square one, over and over again. I've been forced to search my soul and come up with the right move with no compromise available. I've stepped out of my comfort level and found new opportunity I hadn't thought previously possible. I have come to the realization that sometimes to move forward you have to leave what was behind or be stuck in quick sand till you drown. In the Fall I start an entirely new life. I have two possibilities, both will lead me to the eventual completion of my doctorate and both afford me an entirely new career path. There is no compromise, and no going back. I must do, what I must do. Thursday I put the wheels in motion. The flood of relief was overwhelming. I'm exhausted from this process and ready to put it behind me.

In the great upheaval that's been my life this year, my yoga practice has fallen to the wayside. If I can get on the mat once a week its a victory, but even that's been a challenge. Once a week has turned to once a month. I'm thankful I teach, it keeps me connected. A regular practice is an integral part of my well being and not being able to carve out 15 minutes a day is a many layered problem. I am fully aware pushing the envelope will only leave a shredded unusable piece of paper, so I resolve to understand this is not the moment to get back in the saddle and renew my daily practice. For now I am thankful for the few classes I can attend and will wait patiently. Summer is coming with it the sweet promise of renewal and healing of the soul and body.

My mat is mostly rolled up in the corner waiting patiently, always available, always in my life whispering softly, come lets begin again, and so we will, and so we will.

Sea Dreams

The Sound of the Sea

The sea awoke at midnight from its sleep,
And round the pebbly beaches far and wide
I heard the first wave of the rising tide
Rush onward with uninterrupted sweep;
A voice out of the silence of the deep,
A sound mysteriously multiplied
As of a cataract from the mountain's side,
Or roar of winds upon a wooded steep.
So comes to us at times, from the unknown
And inaccessible solitudes of being,
The rushing of the sea-tides of the soul;
And inspirations, that we deem our own,
Are some divine of foreshadowing and foreseeing
Of things beyond our reason or control.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Working on Life

People are like stained-glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in
their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Reflection

I'm at a critical juncture in my life and I need to make some decisions and move forward. I've cast my net, made some attempts, had some failures, and have had to come back to the drawing board to revise and create now possibilities while licking my wounds. This is hard stuff and slow going. I'm not sure which road to go down, and I need to consider all aspects and choose wisely. I think its time for more mediation and reflection.

Yoga has taught me the power and healing nature of meditation. The meditative aspect of the practice has become increasingly more important to me through the years. I have found that in meditation I find answers and I'm able to let go of thoughts that are holding me down. I am amazed how often I have entered a yoga class in a cloudy uncertain head space and somehow managed to work through to a resolution, or at the very least found relief by the end of class. It was not always like this. When I first started practicing I was unable to sit or even lay down for any length of time. The class would enter shavasana and I would roll up my mat and head for the door. I am unable today to simply sit and clear my mind and move into a sustained mindless (yes that's what it's called) practice. I need some yoga first, and then I use a mindful program which may include chanting and lots of breath work . My Kundalini classes have been fantastic in helping me develop a meditative practice.

Learning to Meditate is a very nice site with a good selection of guided audio meditations.

Wishing everyone well and peaceful days.