Time of your life

( borrowed from Sarah at Do Restorative Yoga)

I'm on a quest to heal my rotator cuff, at least that's what I thought when I began this little self help journey. Its been a frustrating exploration and the internal ache persists. My practice continues on a slow trajectory and expectations have been revised repeatedly. I teach a restorative class but rarely give myself the time to do my own medicinal practice. I preach healthy lifestyles but do not place enough emphasis on the healthy in my own lifestyle. Day after day dashing about like chicken little with a cell phone in my ear, too much coffee in my system and half the continents of my purse falling out while I'm running to my next appointment does not align with what I teach or ask of others. I want to slow down but never have enough time to get it all done, I tell myself, " I'm going to slow down and have more time once this is finished." How many of us have said that but once the next project or obligation rolls around were more like Bart Simpson “I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!”

The universe is telling me something important, so I've shifted things a little and am trying to be still and put my listening ears on so I can hear what's being said, its important, but its hard being such a small voice among a lot of loud clatter.

The rotator cuff is connected to the arm and thus associated with the 4th chakra called Anahata. The 4th chakra is located in our heart center. It governs our intuition and love. It is also known as the heart chakra. Among other things Anahata is associated with lack, loss, less than, never having enough or some way limited. This is really profound for me since I spend a great deal of my life wishing I had more time. I am in a constant race to find time to get things done. I constantly complaint that that I do not have enough time and lack the ability or energy to get it (whatever it is) done in the time I have. This summer my father was quite ill and I found myself in a state of rage that the universe would take him away from me. No more time.

I cannot change the things that I cannot change. Self help advocates say we should delete the things that are sucking all our time away and return to a simpler place. Unfortunately this solution is not the right one for me at this point in my life. I do not need to take away anything more in my life, this is what got me into this psychological and physical mess in the first place. It's time to add a few things like acceptance of my abilities, bringing a slower pace to my daily existence, allowing myself time to feel the joy and the love I experience in what I do each day, cherishing what time I have with my father while he decides to stay a while longer, and yes absolutely adding more blocks, pillows and blankets to my personal yoga practice. Oh yes, its time.

Wishing much peace to everyone

Jai Bhagwan