letting the sun shine in

Needing some peace and anxious free living I elected to take this Summer to get organized and get all the things done I've put off, temporarily forgotten, or haven't had time to do. My mantra: "Why put off tomorrow what can be done today." I collected all my to do lists and condensed them into one very long list which included some items which are couple of years old. One item on the list was six years old, yup six years! That one was growing up and becoming its own little entity.

One by one I have systematically attempted to complete, fix, file, de-clutter or follow up with a phone call each task no matter how small or mighty. At this point many will relate tales of how much easier it is once you get started, or how much better they now feel. For me its been the peeling an onion one layer at a time, with a progressively stronger urge to move away and tear up. Slowly, very slowly, I have been chipping away at this little monster and with each completion I am reclaiming myself but feeling a little shattered at the same time.

I am at a point in my life where my time and mental energy is limited and to maximize best results and keep sanity I need to set firm limits and boundaries. This means saying no more than yes. It goes back to something I reflect on from my yoga practice. "Do not engage in activity that doesn't serve you." I realize that saying yes to things when I really meant to say, "no!" have drained me of time, energy and collected a pile of stress which is harder to get rid of then the to do items I've been ticking off. Clearing away the material minutiae has given me a view of the mental pile up behind it, and there lies the anxiety.

Were leaving on holiday soon and I'm planning to dump some of this stack of mental toxic build up while traveling, hiking, exploring and just embracing the good things life has to offer. This will be wonderful and I'm looking forward to it, yet I can't help but think that perhaps we add clutter and disorganization as a curtain to avoid seeing or dealing with the real mess. You know like the wizard of oz, in this case, ignore the mental mass of shit behind the clutter!

Wishing everyone peace and relaxation.