Reflection

I'm at a critical juncture in my life and I need to make some decisions and move forward. I've cast my net, made some attempts, had some failures, and have had to come back to the drawing board to revise and create now possibilities while licking my wounds. This is hard stuff and slow going. I'm not sure which road to go down, and I need to consider all aspects and choose wisely. I think its time for more mediation and reflection.

Yoga has taught me the power and healing nature of meditation. The meditative aspect of the practice has become increasingly more important to me through the years. I have found that in meditation I find answers and I'm able to let go of thoughts that are holding me down. I am amazed how often I have entered a yoga class in a cloudy uncertain head space and somehow managed to work through to a resolution, or at the very least found relief by the end of class. It was not always like this. When I first started practicing I was unable to sit or even lay down for any length of time. The class would enter shavasana and I would roll up my mat and head for the door. I am unable today to simply sit and clear my mind and move into a sustained mindless (yes that's what it's called) practice. I need some yoga first, and then I use a mindful program which may include chanting and lots of breath work . My Kundalini classes have been fantastic in helping me develop a meditative practice.

Learning to Meditate is a very nice site with a good selection of guided audio meditations.

Wishing everyone well and peaceful days.

Pain in the Neck

I've been walking around with my shoulders well above my ears and a left sided neck ache since September. In reassessing what needs to been down now, and try to figure out what to do next, one of my first priorities is bringing my stress level down so I can make room to create a solution. I have really ramped up my yoga practice lately, focusing on neck and shoulders. Oh boy, is it unpleasant. The area is like a tight brick and instant feelings of exhaustion rush through me while my mind screams STOP THAT! This area is connected to the fifth chalkra which focuses on speaking your truth, speech, verbal expression and communication. The base of the neck is connected with feeling overwhelmed and over responsible, taking on more than your "fair share" of work and a sense of oneself within society and one's profession

Everyone has one or two areas in the body where stress is more likely to settle first, and stay longer. This is connected to our personal constitution, our karma, and what is happening emotionally right now. Take time to explore what area of the body is most affected by stress and emotional discourse. Healing these areas of the body brings deep feeling states which need to be acknowledged and addressed so they can go away! Time and patience is needed in this pursuit. Each time we confront these areas/emotional issues, they weaken and eventually the issue resolves itself, but it takes a long time, many years, if not a lifetime.

I personally think the big issues will keep coming up till you confront them, so ignoring it won't make it go away. You'll find yourself on a different day in the same situation. By working the area physically and emotionally it grows continually weaker and eventually departs leaving us with a cleaner aura and better karma and a happier place in our lives.

Wishing success and a peaceful journey to all~

Jai

Not Meant to Be

Months of working toward a transition. Countless extra hours put toward making this transition a fair, smooth encounter for all involved. I dotted my i's and crossed my t's and moved forward, working through my own personal fears and trepidation. Tomorrow was to be my lift off date and I felt quite ready...... that was until I found out this week I was not going to be able to move forward with my intended plans. I did my part, but unfortunately that was not going to be enough in this situation and no one bothered to tell me until it was too late. I won't be able to make a change in my schedule till the Summer. Needless to say my feeling states ran the gamut from shock, sadness, complete tears, to disappointment and finally outright anger. I'm back to
the drawing board and digging deep for motivation while trying to keep my spirits up. My body and mind are sagging and my stress level is off the charts. I ran into yoga class this weekend and just concentrated on breathing. I have to start all over again. I guess the universe did not agree with the plans I made. Time to dig deeper and come up with a new solution. I'm working on it, I just have to be patient. Things will happen but not right away, there's nothing I can do but wait, wait and breath.

Rest Time

I haven't been taking care of myself for these past many months and I really feel it. I'm continually run down, slow moving, dull around the edges always on the verge of a cold or some other ailment. I don't feel sick, but not healthy or vital either. I've made a resolution to remove some of the toxic from my life and begin to incorporate or return to my healthier habits. I tend to plunge into things fast, committing with stipulation and working quickly toward an end point. I can't do that this time, I have no inclination and even if I did, I just don't have the energy. I'm going to take things slowly. I don't work well without creating a timeline of some sort, but for now I just want to be aware.

I read an article that suggests it take sixty six days to make a substantial change in routine, habit and mindset. I never bought the commonly held believe that twenty eight days will create a new system that can be internalized neurologically. I've always been suspect; the lunar cycle, a woman's cycle. and tada! cycle of habit. It's too easy an explanation and it doesn't make sense, we don't throw down neurological tracks that fast.

So here's to sixty six slow and steady days, may they roll peacefully along!

A Helping hand

The universe stepped in this week with a little assistance and some hopeful messages. I've been running on a low tank, stretching and maxing my energy beyond it's limit. My schedule change, and hence my life change starts in ten days. It's an enormous amount of work and it just won't be finished by my departure date, so I'm giving myself till March to get it all done. I'm doing what's humanly possible, that's all anyone can really do. In the meantime some unexpected news was dropped on my doorstep this week. Gifts, letting me know it's all OK.

By midweek I was already fried and woke up yesterday feeling woozy from exhaustion. I have a little assignment I should have never taken, but I assumed I was stuck with it. Quite unexpectedly and to my great relief I will no longer have to trudge an hour and fifteen minutes for a half hour appointment which always left me feeling strangely depleted and in an odd joyless feeling state. Nothing bad, nothing I could ever put a finger on, at the end of the day just not meant to be. It was my fault for taking on too much and saying yes, when I should have said no. That's part of what I need to learn in this life, but let's save that discussion for another time.

So this weekend it's paperwork and prep time! What's thrilling about what I'm doing right now is the finality of it. Finish a report or project and there isn't a huge ball of hot mess with and ASAP date rolling down ready to plow me over. I can finally begin to catch a breath. Classes have started and its comforting to know each class, clinical, and case study, brings me to the light at the end of my doctoral tunnel. It's the last third of my program, and although I have a ways to go, its a journey I'm happy to be on and thank my lucky stars I'm here.

Wishing everyone peace and quality time for yourself and loved ones.

Little things becoming bigger!

It's been a non stop treadmill trying to get as much as completed possible as I transition from my current daily schedule to a new life. I have written numerous posts about time, commitment and balance and hence the challenge. When I began this little personal chapter, it was about finding sustainable balance and increasing the quality of my life by modifying work commitments. Once I put the first steps in place the blurry vision to "feel better about my life" began to come into focus and it took a slightly different form. Once I made the initial commitment to put myself before my fears, opportunities began to announce themselves and continue on a fairly regular basis. I now have little seedlings placed in very different, untried and extremely exciting areas. Some may never sprout, but others are coming up already. I have a few more weeks to go before transition is final! In the meantime, every table in the house is filled with stacks and stacks of file folders, dishes overflowing in the sink and baskets of dirty clothes in every room. By making this decision I am not only taking care of myself but but loving those I care for most in my life. This is a process and an unfolding, its about self dignity and respect.
Be strong, be fearless and shine on!

Sunday In The Winter

Sometimes you just have to be patient and wait for the water to boil!


We all have the extraordinary coded within us, waiting to be released.
Jean Houston